Ten Days to a Nightmare
by moonfaerie326
Summary: So we’ve put an end to it this time. I’m no longer yours and you’re no longer mine// Ten days is entirely too long. Tiva angst


**So this idea came to me while listening to Missy Higgins song "Ten Days". Its rather beautiful, so I suggest you listen to it**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own NCIS or Missy Higgin's song "Ten Days."

**Summary:** So we've put an end to it this time. I'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine// Ten days is entirely too long. Tiva angst

**Ten Days**

**(to a nightmare)**

_So we've put an end to it this time._

_I'm no longer yours, and you're no longer mine._

It probably should have taken longer than it did. It shouldn't have fallen apart as quickly as it did. It was supposed to last, her broken part told her that much.

She pushed too much, and pulled to little. She took his heart and kept her own, and part of her had just expected him to be okay with that. He wasn't, and she was forced to learn that the hard way.

* * *

_"Where are you going?" There was a brief catch in her voice caused by the strange loss she was suddenly feeling.  
_

_"Home." It was a simple reply to a simple question, but she had been expecting more._

_"Why?" This time she was able to control her voice. She hated this feeling of uncertainty that was swelling inside of her chest. She needed to find the answers before she was completely overwhelmed by everything.  
_

_"Because." No emotion was held in his usually exuberant voice, it was blank, and she hated it._

_"You will be back later though, yes?" Their roles had been reversed, her once cool countenance was set aflame with her wariness; and his feelings remained firmly concealed beneath a steely mask.  
_

_He shot her a look then – baring all the pain he was currently feeling for the whole world to see. "I don't know," he whispered before he made his way out the door._

_

* * *

_

It had been ten days since her heart was shattered. Ten days since she last felt his touch. Ten days since she had his love.

Seeing him day in and day out always left a fresh mark upon her heart. If she would allow herself to acknowledge it she would admit that he looked better than he had any right to. Part of her loathed him for it, but the larger part admired him for his strength, strength that she clearly did not have.

On darkened nights, filled with impenetrable silences, she would allow herself to remember the look he shot her just before he closed the door to her apartment – and his heart. She was almost sure she had imagined it now.

* * *

"How are you doing, Ziva?" Gibbs questioned, knowing of the torture she was conflicting upon herself.

She didn't answer. She didn't feel the need too. She knew the answer, and _they_ knew the answer therefore there was no reason for her to speak the words aloud and make them more real than they had any right to be.

He shook his head in dismay, and she felt shame coil in her belly at his obvious disproval. "Fix it," he commanded before walking away leaving her "how" left unanswered.

* * *

She wondered when he had taken her heart away from her – correction, stolen. Because it could no longer beat without her hearing his name, without her remembering his softest of touches.

He held her heart as well as his own in his possession, while her hands remained empty longing for the warmth that she no longer had any right to feel.

* * *

"I am sorry," she stood before him, her hands folded tightly in front of her as she stared him down. He didn't need to know the effort she had to build up in order to be here making this apology, he wouldn't have cared any way.

He didn't respond with words, he simply blinked up at her before returning his attentions back to his work.

"It is okay if you hate me," her words were the opposite of what she was feeling, it wasn't okay if he hated her because she hated herself so much more. "I understand." And she did, understand that is. She should have given him her heart before he eventually took it himself, because either way it was his to have. She could have stopped her pain if she had given it up willingly.

She walked away feeling that much lighter. She had said what needed to be said, and she felt better. She may be broken, but she would be okay, she knew that.

* * *

It had taken her ten days to talk to him again. Ten days of living with an aching heart filled with agony at being able to hold her. Ten days that were filled with uncertainty, because he wasn't sure she needed him as much as he did her.

He was a complete wreck, his nights remained a sleepless battle, and his days were filled with constant torture because she was there looking better than ever. She was there acting as though whatever had occurred between them – he refused to call it a break up – didn't affect her at all. He could barely stand it, he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. He wanted to ask her what the hell was wrong with her.

He did none of that. He settled on a ringing silence that caused even his head to pound.

He just didn't understand.

* * *

"How long are you going to keep this up?" Gibbs questioned, and he only gained a blank look in response.

"You're playing a dangerous game here, Tony," Gibbs warned, before leaving Tony alone to contemplate things.

Tony knew all of that, and he was scared of what would happen. He feared the results, but he didn't know what he could change.

"I know," he whispered.

* * *

_"It is okay if you hate me. I understand." _ He was shocked at her words, appalled by their meaning, and he was pretty sure that everything he had hoped to accomplish with his silent act had just blown up in his face.

It would seem those ten days were all for nothing, because he was going to fix this _now._

_

* * *

_

"What's wrong with you?!" he questioned loudly as soon as the elevator doors slid shut. They were all packed up for the night, ready to go home.

She stared at him like he was crazy - and maybe he was – before she opened her mouth to speak. "I do not know what it is that you are talking about," she arched an eyebrow in his direction as he flipped the emergency switch harder than necessary. He didn't waste any time in closing the distance left between them. Her breath hitched at their close proximity, and she had to forcefully calm herself down.

"You think that I could hate you!?" He was practically screaming, his voice was so loud and rough with his anger.

She remained silent, unsure of what would set him off, and what would calm him down.

"My, God, Ziva." His speech was broken up by heavy breaths; he was beyond pissed by this point. "How could you even dare to think that!? That is the stupidest thing I have _ever_ heard!"

Her back stiffened and her eyes sparked with unforeseen anger. "Well, I am sorry, Tony!" Her tone was sarcastic and her lips curled into a slight sneer. "But with the way you have been acting I – "

His eyes darkened considerably, and he interrupted before he was forced to listen to anymore of her bull-shit. "Don't even say it," he growled out, frustrated.

"It is how I feel Tony!" She stressed, and tears stung the backs of her eyes, but she held them back. He should hate her, because she hated herself.

"You shouldn't feel that way," he murmured, the sudden change in his voice was startling, but she knew that his emotions were getting the better of him.

"I should," she countered forcefully, feeling the past ten days finally catch up to her. "I deserve it, I see that now," she laughed humorlessly. "It is kind of funny though," her eyes sparked then with a flicker of self hate that sent his heart plummeting into his stomach, "it took you closing yourself off from me for me to finally realize how much I love you."

It wasn't supposed to be like this, everything was wrong. He had to fix this, he had to let her know that he was still there for her. "Ziva. I – "

"I was so scared to let you in, because I was sure that you would leave. I did not think about you leaving anyway," she turned her head down, not able to look him in the eyes any longer.

The look he had been sending her was doing things to her heart that she couldn't allow. "So stupid …" she whispered.

"Look at me," he commanded. He was sick of hearing her put herself down like that. She was going to listen to him. She was going to _hear_ him. "Ziva!" He urged when she didn't make a move to meet his gaze.

Her eyes finally snapped to his in surprise, and she was shocked to see the naked hurt that shadowed his features.

"I could never hate you," he rasped out, "because I love you."

She eyed him uncertainly, not sure what to think anymore. Not sure what to believe.

He saw the doubt flit across her face, and he decided to put a stop to it before it could build any further. "I do," he assured with a firm voice. "I thought that you didn't need me, that you didn't want me, and it hurt."

"Oh, Tony." His words wrenched a hole in her chest. "I have always wanted you." Admitting that felt like a breathe of fresh air after spending too long in a crowded room. She laid a hand on his cheek, finally taking notice of the dark circles that clung to the skin beneath his eyes. "I have this feeling that I always will too." She smiled softly up at him, hoping to convey her sincerity.

He pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms tightly because ten days was entirely too long. "Let's go home," he murmured into her hair, and she couldn't help but to think how nice that sounded.

Tony flipped the switch but made sure to keep her in his arms the entire time. The doors slid open to reveal one very amused Gibbs, and neither of them made a move to break apart.

"That's how," Gibbs stated, and after ten days Ziva finally had her answer.

_You're still the only one that feels like home_

_You're still the only one I've gotta love._

_Oh yeah …_

**END**

**Reviews would be awesome. This just came to me randomly one day, and I wrote it forever ago and just got around to typing it up. I hope you enjoyed it!**


End file.
